Reading the title of this blog, you are probably thinking, “This girl is crazy. How can rejection be my best friend forever when it’s awful and hurts so bad?” I’m glad you asked! What I’ve discovered through the numerous times that I have been rejected is that rejection is God’s protection. That’s right. Every time that a person walked out on you, every time you were denied a job offer, every time you were told or made to feel like you weren’t good enough; that was actually God shutting that door and setting you up for something better. God sees the end from the beginning. Sometimes we think we need things, and those things just aren’t good for us. God has BETTER! You are His child. Would you give your child a rotten apple, or a maggot infested meal? NO! So, why would you expect less than the best from your father in Heaven? Still not convinced? Let me share some stories of my rejection with you, and hopefully you will start to see points in your life where God actually protected you through rejection.
1. Rejection from the man I thought was “The One.”
There was a guy that I was head over heels crazy about. I mean he was perfect in my eyes. He was my first love, and I’d known him since I was 13. I thought one day we would get married and have two perfect kids. WRONG! One day, I poured my heart out to God and told him how much I wanted to be with this man, and how I just knew he had to be the one because I had painted this perfect picture in my mind about what our perfect little family would look like. This guy was always the one who held a special place in my heart, and no matter who I dated, I just had this “feeling” that he had to be the one. So, I figured that God was going to give him too me. How silly was I?! I purely lived off my emotions, going off what looked good on paper and to my natural eye. I never asked God if he was the one that was part of God’s will for my life. It was all about Chavon. FAIL!!! (Side note and a bit of advice: your emotions are fickle and change from day to day, minute to minute. It’s a dangerous thing to be emotion led versus spirit led.)
One day I got up the nerve and finally told the guy how I felt; we began spending some time together, and we even discussed having a relationship. I thought wow, this is it; it’s finally going to happen. Then bam, big fat REJECTION hit me like a ton of bricks. I found out that he had gotten engaged to another woman, and I didn’t even know he was dating someone!
For weeks, I cried and was down on myself. I would constantly ask God, “Why am I not good enough for him? What’s wrong with me? Why couldn’t he just give me a chance? Am I not pretty enough?” Ladies, I know you’ve been there before where your self-esteem takes a major hit after relationship rejection.
It was during this time, that I began spending time with Christ, allowing Him to pour into me and build me back up. One day it dawned on me that maybe it wasn’t me that wasn’t good enough; maybe this guy was the one who wasn’t good enough because he wasn’t God's best for me. Remember, God sees the end from the beginning. He knew this guy wasn’t a good fit for me. He knew whether or not this guy would be able to lead me and our children, to pray, to push us closer to Christ, to be stable. I didn’t know these things for sure, and I’m thankful that God doesn’t work off emotions. Instead, He works off his all knowing knowledge. I began to realize that the end of that relationship was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Fast forward years later, I now see the fruit of the fact that the relationship wasn’t any good for me, and I’m so happy that God ended something that I was too blinded by my own emotions to consult Him about. Whew! Thanks Jesus for rescuing me!
2. Rejection from my “Dream Job."
I went through a very rough season during my first job right out of law school. For nearly two years I endured being cursed at daily, sexually harassed, and racially discriminated against. I was called the N word; I was told how to look and dress. I could go on but I will save that for another blog post. I applied for a job at a large firm. It was one of the top law firms in the country, and the salary was HUGE. If you worked at this law firm it was as if you had “arrived” in the legal field because they only took the best of the best, and I little old me had an interview with them. I prayed and fasted for this job. It was my dream since first year of law school to work at this company. Plus, since my job at the time was UNBEARABLE I was looking for a way out fast.
After three interviews with the law firm I was sure I had the job. I was already praising God in advance, and it seemed like every sermon I heard was confirmation that this job would be mine. WRONG!!! REJECTED. I felt like a ton of bricks had literally bashed my face in. There was nothing that anyone could say that made me feel better. Again, I asked God, “Why am I not good enough? Don’t you see the all the tests and trials I am enduring on this job daily? Why are you doing this to me?”
I couldn’t understand that rejection from that job was again God’s protection. You see, if I had taken that job, I would have been working 80+ hours a week. The practice group that I had interviewed with was the highest billing group in the firm, which meant that I would have been working early mornings, late nights, and weekends. I wouldn’t be able to go to church, spend time with God, spend the money I earned, hang out with my family or friends, or even have time to start Rescued Hearts. Back then, I couldn’t see what I see now. I was just looking for a way out of my misery. What I thought was the perfect job for me, didn’t fit into what God desired for me. Fast forward two years later, I have a job that is flexible, not crazy demanding, and that pays well. God hooked me up!
3. Jesus was Rejected Too!
Recently, I was reading John 12, and was literally blown away how the people in the Bible had the son of God with them daily and they didn’t even know who He was. They rejected Jesus all because they were too blinded to believe He was the Messiah. But, there’s good news, the people’s rejection of Jesus was actually protection for you and I! How you may ask? If Jesus was never rejected and crucified, He never would have died for our sins making us able to go to God in peace and forgiveness! (Romans 5:1; Romans 3:25) I’m so happy that Jesus died on the cross and became sin so we wouldn’t have to pay the penalty for our sins. God thank you for your protection!
Now, I challenge you to look at all the times that you have been rejected and embrace it. God has a plan for you. He loves you too much to let you have something that isn’t good for you. Rest honey, and embrace your new BFF. You will be thankful later. ♥
Cheers to a Rescued Heart,
Chavon Ciara Williams