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Rebirth of Self-Esteem Part 1: Overcoming the Reality TV Syndrome

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I will be the first to admit, I am guilty of it. Most of us have an obsession with reality TV. We love Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Real Housewives, Bad Girls Club, Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, Teen Mom, The Bachelor, and so many others. The ratchedness inside us is satisfied as we sit in front of the television for an hour or so to watch the foolery unfold right before our eyes. But, where do we draw the line between what we are watching and what we actually allow to manifest in our lives? I have watched so many girls and young women lose who they are over what I call the “Reality TV Syndrome.” Women and girls alike are ascribing to be these women that are portrayed on these shows. They are getting butt injections, engaging in sex tapes, and using their bodies to get what they want all because reality television has conveyed a message that everything is all about the surface appearance. Sex sells. How you look sells. It’s not necessarily about how smart you are, but it’s about how you use your sexuality to get what you want. It’s all about living the high life, having the most money, and doing whatever it takes to make it to the top.

Today, I’m dispelling some myths that reality television has sold to girls and young women and hoping to rebirth some self-esteem and worth back in you!

Myth #1: A sex tape is the perfect route to go.

Listen, I know Kim Kardashian made a sex tape with Ray J and blew up. I know Mimi Faust from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta just came out with a sex tape. But, honey let me just keep it real. A sex tape is just NASTY. You were not made to just to lay on your back, side, or whatever else. You are a jewel. Everyone else should not see you on camera having sex. What happens when Kim and Mimi have to explain to their daughters that mommy has a sex tape? What happens when they go to school and are made fun of for their mother’s mistakes? Even more embarrassing, now everyone knows what they are like in the most intimate setting. You weren’t created for that purpose sis. You have worth. You have value, and you ARE NOT just a cheap lay.

Myth #2: A big butt is necessary, even if it means getting butt injections.

First of all, let me just say that you are perfect the way you are. God gave some women big butts, and some smaller ones. Don’t believe the hype. You don’t have to have a Kim K or K Michelle booty to feel valid or get attention from the opposite sex. The man who is for you will love you regardless of whether you have junk in the trunk or not. Butt injections are definitely NOT necessary. Besides, haven’t you heard that sometimes people have no clue what’s in those injections? Some people have even reported being injected with cement. CEMENT?! Really? It’s not worth it sis. Besides, if you just have to have a big booty, just head to the gym and do weighted squats! You will have a bigger booty in no time. Again, I don’t think this is necessary since you are beautiful just the way you are.

Myth # 3: You should rely on a man to take care of you.

Did you know that women are some of the smartest people on the face of the earth? You don’t have to rely on a man to take care of you. You have the mental capability to think your way to the top, face challenges, and work to get what you want. You are a BOSS. You don’t have to sleep your way to the top. You are capable of using your brain, not your physical assets to get what you want, and you don’t have to wait for someone to get it for you. God created you in His image. Did you not know you are fearfully and wonderfully made? So, go ahead girl, use the smarts that your daddy Jesus gave you, and BE GREAT!

Myth 4: Men aren’t interested in ladies.

The old saying is still true, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Just some food for thought, a typical man does not want to take home to momma the girl that everyone has been with, the girl who can’t hold a conversation, the girl who cusses like a sailor. The fact of the matter is a real man is going to respect you for setting standards. He will respect you for not giving it up. He will respect you for impressing his mother. No man wants to date a woman who “all the homies smashed.” Even Ray J wasn’t interested in taking home a girl to his momma that “his homie had smashed.” Sis, you don’t want to be that girl. Remember there are a ton of women in this world, but not everyone is a lady. Make sure you are one of them.

Myth 5: Fighting makes you a bad girl.

The Bad Girls Club has let it be known that the “baddest” chicks are the ones who throw them hands. The reality is that physically fighting someone should have ended for you a long time ago. When you were a child, you thought as a child, but now that you are an adult you have put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11) You are capable of having an intelligent, verbal disagreement with someone without resorting to a physical altercation. The only thing that fighting does is give you a criminal record. Let’s see how “bad” you are when you are sitting in a jail cell.

Myth 6: Females should refer to each other as the B word.

This myth right here drives me crazy. I hate to hear woman call each other the B word. It’s now seen in society as a term of endearment. I don’t know how being called a female dog is endearing. I’m not a dog. I’m a lady. I have respect for myself. I’m no one’s acquisition. A dog, besides from the animal definition, is a person who is wicked, unpleasant or contemptible. Do you consider yourself to be any of these things? So, why allow people to refer to you in that way? Whether you know it or not, there really is life and death in what you speak. If people are constantly calling you a dog eventually your life will line up with what you are called. I come against that right now sis, and speak life over you. You are not a dog. You are not wicked, rather you are virtuous. You are not contemptible, rather you are admirable. You are not unpleasant, rather you are a joy to be around. You are one of God’s best works.

Myth 7: Money, clothes, cars, and a revolving door of boyfriends is all you need to be


The reality is that your hope cannot be in material things or a significant other. None of these things will ever make you complete. You are searching for unconditional love, but you will never find it in money, clothes, cars, or multiple partners. Sis, your worth comes from a relationship with Christ. He alone will validate you and make you whole. While material things may make you happy for a while, you will always come up empty handed without Christ. He wants to love you. He wants to heal your hurts, and he wants to rescue you from your brokenness. You’ve tried everything else. Will you finally give him a try? ♥

Cheers to a Rescued Heart,

Chavon Williams

#selfesteem #reality #tv #myth #worth #hope #unconditional

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