A two-door Infiniti G37 had been my dream car for several years. After I graduated law school, I thought I would make enough money to buy the car I wanted. Epic fail! I didn’t have a job for several months, and once I finally did get a job, it wasn’t the highest paying. I needed a car at that time so I bought an Acura. It wasn’t my dream car, but I quickly learned to put my big girl pants on and be content with what God has blessed me with.
A few years passed, and my life began spiraling out of control. My job was awful. I dealt with racial and sexual harassment from my boss. My fiancé and I broke up. Some people who I thought were my friends, who sat next to me in the pews at church, turned on me and spread vicious rumors about me. I felt so alone; so abandoned. I felt like the more I cried out to God the more He ignored me. I was beaten down, exhausted, and just ready to give up.
Then, last summer, God reminded me about the Infiniti G37. I had been asking Him for that car since my junior year in college. But, with everything that had been going on in my life, I had forgotten about my dream car. One weekend in July I went and test drove it, and thought, “This is totally a Chavon car. I have to get it.” God had even worked the details out so perfectly that I would literally only be paying a few dollars more than my car payment for my Acura. But, there was a huge problem. I was completely apprehensive!
Something inside of me was afraid to let go. I had built so many memories in that Acura. I’d gone to that car during my lunch break and cried out to God when I couldn’t take my job. I’d cried about my break up with my fiancé in that car. I’d cried about life in that car. I had worshiped Jesus in that car. I had laughed with my friends in that car. That car held so much of the PAST, a past that I was afraid to let go of because I had no clue what the future would hold. Would the future be better than the past? Would I ever be completely happy again? I was so afraid of the future that for a moment I was willing to be stuck in my past; a sea of hurt, frustration, and confusion, just because that place was comfortable for me. After all, I had been in that season for so long.
Isn’t it something how God was literally giving me the keys to my freedom, but I was allowing fear to debilitate me?!
I was reminded of the Apostle Paul and what he wrote in Philippians 3:13 (TLB). He said, “No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be, but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” After reading that scripture, I decided to take a chance on God and get the new car. As I got into my new Infiniti (that I named Freedom), I looked out my driver’s side mirror at my old Acura and began to drive away. I literally drove out of my past and into my future, leaving those hurts and sorrows, and trusting God that He has my future in His hands.
Today is your day to drive forward. It’s time to let go of those hurts of the past. Although you may not understand it now, everything that you have gone through up until this point in your life happened for a reason. Some people, situations, habits, and connections just can’t drive into the future with you. I know it hurts, but you have to find a little ounce of faith to believe that God has not forgotten about you, or your future. He doesn’t want to see you hurt. He doesn’t want to see you cry. He wants to restore all that you have lost, and give you more. It’s time to drive forward into your future. I promise you that your best days are ahead. ♥
Cheers to a Rescued Heart,